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Jokes and funny SMS

सकाळ

 सरकार म्हणते Save water
अभिषेक बच्चन म्हणतो save paper
च्या मारी सकाळ सकाळ च्या पारी...
आम्ही सामान्यांनी वापरायचं तरी काय?


 

विषय

तिने मला पाहीले, मी तिला पाहीले

तिने मला पाहीले, मी तिला पाहीले
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*
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या पहाण्यापहाण्यातच तिचे २ माझे ४ विषय राहीले.

IT Industry : Programmer and Manager

 

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces
height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and
shouts,

'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half
an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42
degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.'

'You must be a programmer ,' says the balloonist.

'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your Information
and the fact is I am still lost.'

The man below says, "You must be a project manager."

'I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where you are
going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and
you expect me to solve your problem.' :-)

 

Globalization Definition
Question: What is the truest definition of
Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel,

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine,

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scottish whisky,

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

on Japanese motorcycles;

treated by an American doctor,


This is sent to you by an Indian

using Bill Gates's technology,

and you're probably reading this on your computer,

that uses Taiwanese chips,

and a Korean monitor,

assembled by Chinese workers

in a Singapore plant,

transported to you by Bangladeshi rickshaw-driver.

That, my friends, is Globalization
Not ALL rules can be followed!!!
A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .." :-)
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